Emotional Blackmail : When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward, Ph.D.

Reviewed by Barbara Wright-Avlitis
Second wives and stepmothers often seem to deal with more than their fair share of emotional blackmail. It comes from all directions and often we still carry the scars of emotional blackmail from our past. It's confusing and sometimes overwhelming. This book can help give you a way out.

Dr. Susan Forward, the author of the critically-acclaimed book, Men Who Hate Women & the Women Who Love Them, has broken new ground with her latest book, Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You. She draws on real-life case histories to help the reader understand the kind of blackmailer they might be facing.

The message behind emotional blackmail is, "If you don't give me what I want, you will suffer." When friends, relatives, lovers, bosses and co-workers use fear, obligation and guilt to coerce you into doing what THEY want, you can rely on the strategies, skills and scripts in this book to help you respond positively to the situation and hold your ground. The author provides practical techniques for rebuilding relationships and helping you regain your confidence, independence and self-esteem.

This book helps to lift the blinding "FOG" that emotional blackmailers surround us with. This "FOG" is Fear, Obligation and Guilt. It gives the reader the tools to recognize emotional blackmail when they see it and to know how to resist. Reading this book can help you change the balance of power in your relationships with emotional blackmailers. Since knowledge is power, Dr. Forward gives you the power you need to break the blackmail cycle, once and for all.

This book really opened my eyes to the subtle ways emotional blackmailers work on our vulnerabilities to manipulate us. It gave me helpful information with checklists, practice scenarios and practical communication techniques. I highly recommend it to anyone who wants to break the blackmail cycle and begin having healthier relationships.

Have you lived with emotional blackmail? Have you read this book? Talk about it at the Members Cafe!

Barbara Wright-Avlitis is an American woman who's lived and worked in Greece for the past seven years. She's a second wife to a Greek native and has one stepdaughter. Her three children from her previous marriage are all grown. Barbara manages training and development for her company's Eastern Europe and Middle East territories.

Barbara is a SecondWivesCafe member and co-moderates on our Abuse and Belle Curves forums.